CHAOS MODE: JANUARY 12, 2026 – THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK EDITION
TRUMP UNLEASHES CRIMINAL PROBE ON FED CHAIRMAN POWELL WON’T BOW! SUBPOENAS FLY YELLEN WARNS MARKET – ‘SELL AMERICA’ RETURNS TO WALL ST
The Don’s finally swinging the hammer at the money printers. Jerome’s getting the full Epstein treatment—probes, subpoenas, the works. Janet’s screaming from the rooftops while Wall Street dumps everything that isn’t nailed down. Buckle up, normies: the Fed’s about to get a MAGA colonoscopy.
MAG: SON KING OF HOLLYWOOD… ELLISON TAKES WARNER TO COURT… SUES FOR INFORMATION… THE DON SET TO BLOCK NETFLIX DEAL? POWER PLAY: Mysterious Billionaire Sitting at WARNER Table…
Larry’s storming the castle, subpoenas in one hand, popcorn in the other. Netflix deal? Dead on arrival if the orange man says so. Hollywood’s shaking—some shadowy zillionaire just parked his yacht at the Warner table and nobody’s allowed to ask why. Lights, camera, TREASON?
Meanwhile Iran’s on fire: TEHRAN: WE’RE FIGHTING FOUR WARS WITH USA AND ISRAEL… Ayatollah’s prepping execution playlists while Trump floats Rubio as next Cuba boss. Venezuela’s dictator vows blood to the last drop, Mexico’s slipping us oil on the low, and human heads are decorating Ecuador beaches like it’s cartel Christmas.
Oh, and ICE just turned Minneapolis into a war zone after that Renee Good shooting—agents stepping in front of cars for the ‘ol justify-the-shooting trick. Churches getting raided, nurses striking, monkeys loose in St. Louis with AI failing to catch them. Peak 2026.
The Republic’s not dying—it’s mainlining adrenaline and screaming.